note: This was written on Wednesday, May 27, before the protests in Minneapolis and other cities across the U.S. reached full steam. To this I would add that the protests are righteous and necessary, and  that we should all be devastated, not by the damage done in protest, but by our nation’s abject failure to Black Americans.

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Every.Damn.Day

Here’s what I can’t stop thinking about. We – white people – are all Amy Cooper. I don’t like typing that, and you probably don’t like reading it, but we have to reckon with the massive gulf between our professed beliefs and the horrific outcomes of our collective behavior.

What would I have done in that interaction on Monday? What would you have done? Neither of us can know for sure. I have reason to think that I, a lover of birds and the outdoors and a leash law adherent, would have had a pleasant interaction with Christian Cooper. A smile, a nod, a brief conversation about the birds or the weather or my dog or something else. I also have a history of experiences ranging from cringe-worthy to potentially dangerous that leave me here in this space of uncomfortable questioning. 

I do anti-racism work for a living. I have learned and taught the principles of implicit bias, fast and slow thinking. How we are programmed throughout our lives to sort things and people into categories. In confrontations and other stressful situations, we go into fast thinking and react based on how our brains are programmed. 

The truth is that for us white people, that programming includes a lifetime of messages, both explicit and implicit, that tell us our safety, even our conveniences, are more important, our rights more sacred, and our lives more valuable than those of people of color. We are able to manipulate systems, perhaps law enforcement most of all, to our advantage. Each of us well-meaning white people may be a bad day and a set of circumstances away from an interaction that ends very poorly. And it almost never ends as poorly for us.

We saw all of this – the programming, the bad day, the set of circumstances – rush to the surface for Amy Cooper earlier this week. To be clear, her actions are reprehensible and inexcusable. As others have said, I think she knew what she was doing when she called the police. Amy Cooper has probably said, as people always do after events like this, that she is not racist and that she was misunderstood and that she has Black friends. And yet her actions could have cost Christian Cooper his life. He could have become another George or Ahmaud or Sandra or Philando or Freddie.  Indeed, the actions of white women specifically, in imagined or performed distress, have cost the lives of countless Black men in the history and present day of this country. The cycle must be broken and that will only happen if white people take collective responsibility and commit to unlearning our racism. Every. Damn.Day.

If you think Every.Damn.Day is too much to ask, think about people of color, particularly Black men, who have to spend Every.Damn.Day thinking about being Black, being male, and being feared. I was reminded of this by my friend and business partner Alia, who spends these days thinking about her Black husband and sons for whom, in her words, “breathing is an act of courage...leaving our house is an act of faith.” For white people, our privilege allows us to enter and exit the racism conversation at our leisure and avoid those uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situations if we choose.

Those cringe-worthy experiences I alluded to earlier – the times I watched a friend, teammate or colleague experience racism and did nothing, or used my privilege to escape a situation I perceived as dangerous – have stayed with me. I have learned from them. I do better – I speak up, I am proactive, I continue learning. For much of this learning I owe more than I could ever repay to my friends and colleagues of color. And I am left questioning what I am actually willing to do, how much of my personal safety or credibility I am willing to risk, what I will do if I feel my white family is unsafe.

We are meant to be in community with each other. We are meant to see and experience one another’s humanity. White supremacy culture has kept us from this in ways that are almost unbelievable in the year 2020. Our silence, our fear, and our complacency have allowed these horrific events to continue. Our institutions largely perpetuate racism, excuse it, or look the other way. 

So. White folks. The next time something like this happens, and I am sorry to say we won’t have to wait long, let’s do more than post our outrage on social media. Let’s find the Amy Cooper in ourselves and in those close to us, and find new ways to unlearn our programmed racism – Every.Damn.Day . This is a call to examine our beliefs, intentions, and actions and show up in ways that match, even when it’s hard, and hold ourselves, each other, and our systems accountable. It’s the only way through to that real community. 

Please join me.

https://www.citylab.com/equity/2020/05/amy-cooper-christian-cooper-fear-in-central-park/612094/ 

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/27/opinion/amy-cooper-central-park-racism.html 

Jordan Bingham lives in Madison, WI and is a director and consultant with The nINA Collective.